9.13.2009

They Say Its Your Birthday


This is Margot.

She was my best friend.

Today is her birthday.

She would have been 25, finally catching up to my age. I don't know if its because I've ingested so many over the counter pain killers and allergy medicine today, or because this year I miss her so much more, but I feel like I'm falling apart. My insides are vibrating and feel as though they will soon be on my outsides and leave me truly empty.

I spent the better part of today in the car trying not to listen to music that makes me cry. This was difficult. We shared so much music. So many mixed tapes. From this band to that band and all the six degrees of separation in between, every song is a memory, every song nostalgic.

Its not just the sadness that she died so young or that she had so much life left to lead. I often wonder what she would say to me now. Or what she would have done with her life. If we really would grow old as friends and sit in the nursing home sucking our mashed taters through a straw.

Damn it, I had so many things left to say to her.

7.06.2009

Pakistan Slideshow - Buy Prints on Zenfolio




Here's a sample of the work for SALE at pandavisionfilm.zenfolio.com

Frames available! All shapes and sizes of prints! Check it out today!

Buy a Print in my STORE!




Check out my store at pandavisionfilm.zenfolio.com

Order your favorite prints and adorn your walls!

See something on my website that you don't see in the store? Can't live without it? Make a REQUEST! Email me at pandavision@gmail.com with a description of the image and where you found it. I'll put it up in the requests gallery in the store, and it will be available for purchase!

Happy Shopping!

5.26.2009

NO H8 - The Church Channel


While working for my friend Ky on her film Fish Out of Water earlier this year, I read through a lot of bible verses and ended up at a lot of protests. I drove to the capitol building in Madison Wisconsin to have my boyfriend wave a giant rainbow pride flag in front of its shimmering white rotunda. I've talked to theologians and furious people in front of the Renaissance hotel in Chicago. I've seen people's hopes uplifted with the onset of a new administration only to have them dashed by a multi-million dollar propaganda fueled 'popular' vote in California.

I've run through protests in a foot of snow to get footage of thousands of people marching through the streets of Chicago. I've been soaked to the skin and certainly questioned my poor choice of footwear, but I've never seen these crowds diminished as a result of terrible weather. You can't win a war if you don't come out to fight. People keep coming out to fight, but I have no idea why they HAVE to keep fighting.

The opposition's argument simultaneously makes me laugh and desperately want to choke someone. This 'storm' that's coming our way, this scare tactic that you're good conservative family values are going to be destroyed is laughable and infuriating. I can't wrap my brain around how two adults wanting to commit to a long term and responsible relationship is a bad thing. When you get down to it, that's all it is. Two people, in love, committing to each other for a lifetime. Settling down. Being responsible. Building a life together. How is that against conservative values? Also, a homosexual couple is able to adopt a child, but they can't get married? Doesn't that go against conservative values? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Please, someone explain this to me, their argument fails to make any sense.

No minority should be forced to defend its equal rights at the ballot box.

Wouldn't you be upset if, by popular vote, your right to riding on a bus was taken away and you had to take a different bus for people like yourself - say Irish American, or Left Handed. What if you couldn't have the same job as other people? What if your happy, stable marriage was now null and void? Wouldn't you be angry?

I may not be a gay American, but I'm an American and I'm fucking angry.

While I have so many things to be angry about these days - climate crisis, world wide lack of education(Africa/India), and huge corporations knowingly poisoning a region of people (Nicaragua)- this topic hits really close to home. This revocation of equal rights is affecting my close friends, the people I work with, and whole communities. I submit that it is an obscene failure of justice.

I don't understand how a nation that rose from the ashes of a bloody rebellion and came together to create a country based on the separation of church and state can tolerate such a clear intrusion of the former to the latter. If anyone bothered to read a true translation of the bible instead of misquoting a biased rewritten version - like quoting lines from a movie that were never said in the actual film i.e. 'Play it again Sam.'- they'd know that the bible doesn't say anything negative about homosexuals.

I'm a strong believer in people being able to think what they choose. If someone want to think that I dress like a jerk and will get no where in my life, that's just fine. But it's not ok for that person to act on those emotions in a way that can hurt me - ie punch me in the face and break my glasses. I'm hoping at this point that anyone reading this would think that the above mentioned action would 'not be cool.' The same can be true of a majority's thoughts on a minority. You may not agree with a homosexual's choice of partner in life, but it's certainly not cool to stand in the way of their pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness. Taking away this simple right is doing just that. It is not the place for the many to take away the rights of the few.

Here's your take away for today: Turn off the church channel and start talking to your neighbor. If you're old enough, think about what happened during the civil rights movement. And when you see that dude that's walking like a lady, or that chick that wears a plain white tee and a faux-hawk better than the man of your dreams, think twice before you judge. Odds are they're just trying to make it through life just like you - as happy as they can possibly be.

4.25.2009

To All Readers: How About You Chip-In for a good cause.



I'll be working on a documentary in Southern Sudan late this year or early next, but it depends on getting the funds together for the project to take flight. I NEED YOUR HELP!

Panyijiar Community Development Services s a 501 (c) 3 exempt organization in North Dakota that is meant to support and stimulate the dreams of Lost Boys of Sudan from Panyijiar. In this regard PACODES strives to improve facilities of education, community healthcare, parenting, clean water, agriculture, humanitarian, in addition to peace and conflict resolutions for the Panyijiarians in Southern Sudan. Our first goal is to construct a library for the community in Panyijar.